Dancin' with Joe

“Almost nobody dances sober, unless they happen to be insane.” H.P. Lovecraft

I was reminiscing with an old friend the other day about the time we both worked for a guy who took the fun out of dysfunctional. Often times working around people who chase every new shiny object can be highly entertaining and as a bonus if you’re not in a particularly motivated mood you can get out of doing anything tangible by doing the “LOOK, OVER THERE” routine which flitters them off in a new direction for days, weeks, hell sometimes forever.

This guy though was clinical. Goofing off has it’s moments but most of us actually do want to be contributors to success. But when you’re stuck with or (worse) under one of these people it becomes the Dance of the Macabre personified.

So, while reminiscing with my friend, who knows me too well, he asked me what my mental image was of that past situation. You see, I’m a highly visual person who relates almost everything to something else. So the first thing that popped in my mind was trying to dance with Joe Cocker. Youngsters are right now asking “Who’s Joe Cocker?” (think Michael Stipe of R.E.M or most of the people on American Idol). I love listening to Joe sing, I hate watching him sing. It’s like watching someone with a horrible golf swing just before you tee off, it’ll mess you up for weeks.

This ex-boss was like that in that he could throw you off your game. You could never get a rhythm or a stride due to the fact that he would change course before you could get the sails set.

So, how does one deal when trying to dance with Joe? Well, as difficult as it can be you have to stay on task while doing the shuffle. Think of it as guiding your dance partner across the crowded floor to end up by the punch bowl. It takes practice to do it smoothly but once accomplished you have a happy dance partner a cool drink and a sense of accomplishment.

Lyin', Cheatin', Stealin'

“Are you gonna believe me or your lyin’ eyes?” JR Ewing

I’m distressed. As a life-long Indiana basketball fan I’m clinically depressed about what’s going on with the program and their coach Kelvin Sampson. In a nutshell Sampson came to IU under a cloud because at his previous school (Oklahoma) he had violated a NCAA recruiting rule on how many phone calls are permissible when recruiting high school kids. It wasn’t severe and it’s certainly not the dirtiest thing a coach can do but he did it and was on probation with the NCAA because of it.

He assured everyone that it was an honest mistake and that we would be clean beyond reproach. Well, now it’s come to light that he violated the rules of the probation he’s been under and “may” have lied about it during the school's internal investigation.

Now, I like Kelvin Sampson as a coach. His kids play hard, he attracts good talent and wins games. However, like most IU fans, I was spoiled by all the years that Bob Knight ran a successful and extremely clean program. I remember Knight making Steve Alford sit out a game for appearing in a calendar a campus sorority had made to raise money. A grey area in the rules but one he didn't even flinch at doing something about.

So now there are two potential issues. One, that Sampson re-committed the same crime and two that he publicly lied to his boss about it.

So, what do you do when you have a talented employee who is generally well-liked and successfully runs his department in major KSF’s (key success factors) of business generation (wins/losses), revenue (sold out games and national tv exposure) and great staffing (recruiting). But, the guys a little slimy and lies to you about things.

In my blog of October 8th last year I talked about the 10 simple rules of being a successful employee. http://executiveondemand.blogspot.com/2007/10/ten-simple-rules.html. One was “Never (ever, ever)….(ever, ever, ever) lie, cheat or steal. It will create a stigma that can never be overcome.”

So Mr. or Ms. Big Boss (or in this case IU Athletic Director Rick Greenspan) what are you going to do with your talented but issue-riden employee?

A book I'll read

“Frankly, I’m suspicious of anyone who has a strong opinion on a complicated issue.” Scott Adams,

The Seven Flat One Minute Long Tailed Black Swans Who Stole My Cheese – By Scott Adams (who hasn’t written this book but should)

I love “How to be better” books, especially when they involve business. They prop open doors, press damp papers back into shape, and most of all look cool lying around your house or office. OK, I’ve even read a few of them. My problem with actually reading them is I always somewhere in Chapter 3 find myself saying to myself “Well Duh”.

Each one is filled with total common sense.

The only thing worse than the common sense syndrome is the moron co-worker or (much worse) Boss who latches onto the “Well Duh” Book du jour with the ferocity of a dog with a new chew toy.

You’ve been there. They buy everyone they know copies of it, quote chapter and verse from it in meetings, add a quote from it in their email signature. This does, however, bring up another use for the book… to bash the new disciple senseless in mid-quote!

You see, the problem isn’t the enlightened, common sense, “gee I knew that” material of the books. It's certainly not the authors who have spent countless hours writing the book. Look, we all can use refreshers and a little "Well Duh" never hurt anyone.

The problem is that PEOPLE DON’T ACTUALLY DO THE COMMON SENSE STUFF THAT MAKES YOU GO “WELL DUH”!!!!! They talk about it, preach to others about it, get tattoos about it and generally bore everyone else senseless about it but they don’t wake up in the morning and actually practice these common sense principles.

You’ve probably figured out by now that I’m into quotes. Well there’s one that goes “When everything is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done”. So, if you read one of these “Duh” books and it moves you then PLEASE, just go out and do.

I QUIT!!!!

"All of us learn to write in the second grade. Most of us go on to greater things." Robert Montgomery Knight


I got a call from a friend the other day telling me how much he enjoyed my blog. I was flattered. He then proceeded to launch into the 973 ways I could improve it and if I dedicated more of my attention (and his suggestions) to the site that it could "become viral" and "become my profession" and "wouldn't that be cool".

Thus, following the lead of the person I've most admired over the years, The General. I QUIT....

Let me explain. Bob Knight and I showed up on the Indiana campus the same year and were both met with about the same amount of acclaim. He was a young coach from Army whose greatest claim to fame was playing college ball alongside John Havlicek at Ohio State. My credentials were...uh...less.

Over the next many years I came to enjoy RMK for many reasons: the undefeated 1976 season, the National Championships, the candy-striped warm ups. But most of all because here was a guy who got to do what he wanted for a living, get paid great money for it and....best of all....do it on his terms. Yeah, yeah, don't bore me with the trangressions. I've heard them all and actually know them better than you do.

So this week, in the middle of the season, Coach Knight "retired". On his terms. Now, I've not talked to Bob about his decision but I'll bet that somewhere in his decision process is the element "it had become A JOB". And the minute it became A JOB he was out.

Well, same thing. The minute this blog thing becomes A JOB...I'm out.

See ya' Coach. College basketball just became a lot less interesting.

Geniuses need not apply

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." Albert Einstein

I read a recent article on ESPN.com titled “Who is this guy?” about Ernie Adams and how this totally unseen, unknown (until now) person is maybe THE REASON the New England Patriots have been dominating the NFL. Even with a second string QB from Michigan. (Actually after watching the Super Bowl maybe he still is).

Sorry, I couldn’t let down my GO BLEW constituents.

Anyway this got me thinking about Art Petty. He has one of those blogs that I really enjoy. Find him at http://artpettyonmanagement.typepad.com/bestpractices.

Art writes a lot on the subject of Leadership. Art’s observations and advice are probably ignored by most people in Executive Management because he’s insightful and honest and his advice is logical and pretty straight-forward to implement. Thus, no high-powered exec worth this Rolex would probably pay attention. Now, Art also has the advantage of being able to go onsite and charge the same exec money for his advice, which would actually make both sides feel better, so let me stay out of it. I mainly wanted to introduce you to Art.

But, back to the plot….

While reading this article about Ernie Adams I wondered how many successful companies have an “Ernie” on staff. That resident “genius” who doesn’t seek out the limelight and is not necessarily someone you would take out in public but is so passionate about what they do that they are a huge asset. The TV show “Boston Legal” had a guy like that (Jerry) who was in research but then they made him a main character and now he’s still goofy but also out in public. Good for the show I guess but wouldn’t happen in real life.

Anyway, coming from the tech world I’ve known more than of few of these people and a common theme always seem to occur. When the company is small and private these “Ernie’s” play a pivotal role in the early success of the business. As the company grows and involves more “professionals” – outside investors, hired-gun executives, etc. – the “Ernie’s” get diminished both physically and professionally.

Is there an “Ernie” in your organization? If yes, get to know them. If not, find one.